Letter to Potential Birth Parents from Emma

Dearest Birthparents,

I would like to begin by thanking you, from the very bottom of my heart, for taking the time to read a bit about myself and my husband. We are truly honored that you are considering us as potential adoptive parents of your beautiful child. I want this letter to convey how blessed we feel to be on this journey, and what we look forward to in the future.

As you read this letter there are, undoubtedly, many different thoughts running through your mind. What you are facing is certainly the most difficult and intense decision of your life, and it is this decision that has brought us to you. This decision is why I am writing this letter and feeling so many emotions, as I know you are too. This decision is the most brave and selfless act I could ever imagine. You must know that the amount of strength that you possess is incredible and admirable. The love that you are showing for this child proves that you want the absolute best thing for their life. Whether that is myself and my husband, or not, please always know that we are so inspired by you and your journey. 

I have so many things that I want to say but let me start by telling you a little bit about myself, and my marriage to my amazing husband. Colin and I have been together for 7 years. We have actually known each other since we were about 12 years old but reconnected in 2014 and my life was changed forever. From the moment I saw him again, I knew that he was special and would always be a part of my life. He is the most incredible person I have ever known, and I could not be luckier to be spending my life with him. Our marriage is strong, selfless, caring and fun, and our love is deep, patient, honest and real. Colin is kind, smart, genuine, fun, gentle and full of so much love for those around him. For these reasons, and so many more, I cannot wait to coparent with him. I know that he will, without a doubt, be an incredible father.

As for me, I am an outgoing person that enjoys being with my family and friends. My favorite place to be is my cozy living room with my husband and our two sweet dogs. We have a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Charlie and a border collie/heeler mix named Casey, that is six. We adore them and they accompany us on many trips and adventures. The word WALK is a dangerous one in our house as the dogs go crazy when they hear it. Colin and I love walking together with the pups and look forward to doing so with our future family. I love art and everything related to painting. I am currently a painting instructor and loving every moment of it. I cannot wait to share my joy of art and creativity with my children. I love being outside, particularly in Northern Idaho where I am originally from. Since I was a kid, I have spent every summer on my family’s property right on the Coeur D’Alene river – swimming, rafting, hiking, sitting by a campfire and spending time with my enormous extended family. Most of my greatest childhood memories are from my summers spent on the river, another thing that I hope to share with our future children.

Being with family is the greatest thing there is for me. I have dozens of aunts, uncles, and cousins that I am extremely close with. Every single one of them is over the moon about our adoption process and cannot wait to add another little one to the family. Especially my three younger brothers, one of whom has two children, and another that is about to welcome his first child. So, in addition to our large extended family, our child will grow up with cousins that they will spend a great deal of time with. They will be constantly surrounded by family and loved immensely by each one of them. Ideally, Colin and I would complete our family with two children. Colin has an older sister, so we both understand the value and love that can come from a sibling. 

I have wanted to be a mother since I was a young child. It sounds cheesy, and possibly cliché, but from the time I was a little girl caring for my baby dolls I knew that being a mother would undoubtedly be a part of my future. I have always loved children. I have a degree in Human Development and Family Studies with an emphasis in Early Childhood Education from Colorado State University. For seven years I worked in Early Childhood Education as a pre-kindergarten teacher. These were some of the most joy-filled years of my life. Children are the future, the world, and they see things just as they are. They are honest and beautiful, and I have been waiting, for what feels like forever, to have my own. I want to be a mother because I want to share the joys of life with my child. I want to love unconditionally and receive the unconditional love of a child. I want to watch them grow and learn and love. I want to see the joy on their face when we play outside, when they feel water on their feet for the first time, on Christmas morning. I want to hold them in my arms when they are hurt, when they cry, when they need me. I want to watch my husband raise our children next to me. There are so many reasons I want to be a mother, and I have always known.

However, my dreams of motherhood came to a halt for me in 2014 when I made the difficult decision to have a full hysterectomy. Since I was about 18 years old, I have had extreme pelvic pain and it continued to worsen as I got older. I was diagnosed with stage four endometriosis when I was 22 and within 2 years the pain became relentless and unbearable. After two surgeries and dozens of various treatments, I made the decision to have my uterus and ovaries removed to stop the pain. Since then, I have felt an enormous amount of grief for the loss of the child I never had. I have also faced great guilt for not being able to give Colin his own biological child. But Colin, has never even had a second thought about that. On our very first date we discussed my situation, and he has known from the very beginning of our relationship that we would have to explore other options when it came to parenthood. He has never questioned, never hesitated, or faltered, never been upset. He has loved me through it all and will continue to love me and all our future children. I am a very firm believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason. I believe, in my heart of hearts, that we have been called to adoption. 

Colin and I plan to raise children with love at the core of everything that we do. We will undoubtedly slip, make mistakes, have question and struggles, but we cannot wait to explore and learn together. I plan to be at home with our child for at least the first six months. Colin and I have opposite work schedules, so I can be with our child during the day and Colin can be with them at night. We plan to be with our child for as long as possible before placing them into childcare. In addition to the two of us, our child will have many family members nearby to help raise and care for them. Colin and I’s parents both live within just a few minutes of us, as well as two of my brothers who live in Colorado and several of my cousins that I am incredibly close to, as well as an aunt and uncle, all of whom are elated about adding another child to the family and cannot wait to be a part of their life. In additional to family, Colin and I have many close friends that are currently raising young children, including my very best friend who recently adopted a little boy from Africa. We have an enormous support system surrounding us that will, undoubtedly, play a great role in our child’s life. 

I hope by now you have learned a bit about myself, my upbringing, my family, and my dreams for a future family. So I would like to finish by telling you my, and our, commitment to this child. Our child will be at the center of our life and receive full and conditional love always. They will grow up with a solid support system consisting of a large, loving family and dear friends that will love them like their own. We will treat our child with respect, trust, compassion, and patience. We hope to always meet their basic needs and as they grow, their more complex needs. Communication is key between Colin and I when it comes to parenting and we are committed to always talking through everything and working together as a mother and father. Our child will have many adventures and will certainly build wonderful memories every day, week, month, and year of their life. Most of all, we are committed to raising our child in a supportive and loving environment where they always feel safe and cared for. 

As you continue this process and journey, I have faith that you will find the right parents or the right road for you. Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of this process by reading this letter. I will be truly honored when our child comes to us and will be forever grateful for people like you that possess the strength and selflessness that you do. Without people like you, there would be no adoption process, there would be no parenthood for those that cannot have children biologically. So thank you, and I hope and pray for many blessings, peace and happiness for you always.

Sincerely,

Emma Brown

Letter to Potential Birth Parents from Colin

Dear Birthparents, 

Thank you so much for reading this letter and for even considering Emma and myself to be the parents of your amazing child. 

I can only imagine how hard it is to make the decision to place your child with an adoptive family. The countless hours spent thinking about what the best decision would be for your child is not lost on me. The amount of courage and love it takes to make that decision is incredible. I know you have unconditional love for your child and it is shown through this incredibly honorable decision. I can only hope that I am able to show half as much strength and courage when it comes to raising a child. I will strive to always show my future child the unconditional love of a parent, the same love I know you hold. Saying that I am grateful for this opportunity to be considered by you to be your child’s father does not do it justice. To be able to be a father would be a dream come true. 

My name is Colin, and I have been with Emma for the last 6 years. One might say I am a bit of a closet nerd, since I have been to college twice (graduated both times), but really I am just a typical person. I do enjoy talking about making maps and everything that goes along with that (my day job), but I also enjoy talking about the Broncos and why they aren’t winning games. We have two dogs together, so we spend a lot of time with them as well. I try to get outside as much as possible, whether it’s going for a run, playing golf with by buddies, or going for a hike. Emma has a large extended family, while I come from a small family. We spend a lot of time with Emma’s family since many of them live close to us; there are many family dinner nights spent with her parents, brothers, aunts, uncles, or cousins. Many of the cousins are close to our age, so it’s like having a big group of friends that just happen to be related. 

I have known Emma since elementary school. We grew up near each other and attended the same elementary, middle and high school. We knew who each other were but ran in different social circles throughout school. We went our separate ways for college (I went to CU and she went to CSU) but reconnected several years later. She had always caught my attention in high school, but I was too much of a nerd and too scared to ever really talk to her, let alone to try and ask her out on a date. She reached out to me through Facebook in 2017 to see how I was doing, which caught me off guard. I was so surprised to see I had gotten a message from her and felt excited and nervous all at the same time. We met up for drinks not long after that first message, and I felt the spark immediately. Admittedly, I thought we were just two old friends meeting up for drinks to catch up, but little did I know, that was actually our first date. Those hours spent together on our first date would turn into marriage and a life full of promise. During that first date, we talked about everything and anything under the sun. We talked about how she had just recently had a full hysterectomy because of some health issues and that she wouldn’t be able to have a child on her own. The first thing I said when she told me that was, “That’s no big deal, you can adopt!” Not once during that first date, or during the years since, did I ever doubt that adoption was going to be part of our journey together. Ever since that first date, I knew in my heart that adoption was going to be part of our life. I embrace that with an open mind and open heart to this day. To even be considered by you to be a father to your child is an honor and something I don’t take lightly. I have always wanted to be a father, and this is my opportunity to become that. 

We look at adoption like it’s the ultimate opportunity to provide unconditional love and support to a child, and to help provide them a large extended family that is excited to teach and learn from a child. We have a large support system around us that will do whatever they can to help support our future child and us throughout this journey. Emma has a background in early childhood education and has worked in an early childhood education center. She loves children and loves teaching them. She loves to see the spark in their eyes when teaching or showing them something new. Our work schedules allow us to be able to take care of and raise a child without putting them into childcare right away. My mom has a background as a pre-school coordinator and is nearing retirement. She lives about 5 minutes away from us and is so excited at the possibility of being able to help take care of her own grandbaby! Emma’s parents also live less than 5 minutes away and are equally as excited at the opportunity to help raise their grandbaby! I have had the opportunity to see my in-laws interact with my niece and nephew, and it is amazing to watch them light up when the grandbabies are around. 

My hope for the future is to provide our future child with unconditional love, every opportunity to excel in life and to help them become the best version of themselves they can be. I will support them in every way possible, whether that is through trying different sports and hobbies, or through exploring their talents and interests. My commitment to parenthood is to always come from a place of love for our child. I commit to supporting them in everything they do. I commit to teaching them everything I know about the journey called life and to help them learn about themselves. I will be upfront with them about their adoption, and I will make sure they know that their birth parent loved them unconditionally and made all the best decisions for them and their future. Our future child will always know where they came from, and we will always share with them how strong, courageous, and honorable their birth parent is.

Our future child will be welcomed into our family with open arms and open hearts. There are many grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins that are excited to welcome our child into our family! They will always have a playmate at every family get together and there will be no shortage of laughs, good times, and family bonding. They will always have a partner in crime, in the form of their cousins. 

Thank you so much for this opportunity and for considering us. We are so excited at the possibility of raising a child together. Our commitment to you is pretty straightforward – if you choose us as the family to raise, your child will be loved and supported, always, they will be taught about life and how to navigate it as best they can, they will be provided for in every way possible and will be loved by a large extended family. 

Sincerely, 

Colin Brown